Ok, so cutie pie will be turning 1 years old next month, November 25th! And I am feeling super guilty about throwing her a 1st b-day party, complete with family and friends. Decorated with cupcakes and all things little and cute. About getting her 1st year photo taken at Target. About making my own invitations that could read "Our Little Cupcake is turning 1!".
Mostly because she is not our little cupcake. Not legally. She is turning one...and her mother has yet to see how much she has grown. She has never seen her wave or snap or play peek-a-boo with her blankie. She didn't witness the first time she crawled or was able to push herself backwards on her little riding car. Or pick out a cute dress for her to wear for her pictures. Or to watch how much fun she has in the bathtub...making her pink duckie make tootin sounds and just laugh!!! Or tuck her in to bed at night and give her a kiss on the cheek.
I feel so guilty for being the one to watch her grow. For loving her as much as I do. For wanting her to be legally ours.
And so scared that it may not happen.
Jemmers :)
7 comments:
You should not feel guilty. You have been her mom for the past year and nothing will ever change that! It wasn't you who ordained these circumstances...enjoy every moment you are given with your sweet little cupcake. (:
I think it would be truly criminal, on Cutie Pie's behalf particularly, if you don't become her legal parents. How can her birth mother abandon her for a year with no contact and have the possibility to come take her away some day??? It angers me so much!!! Is there a statue of time before her rights are terminated? Sorry, I just want you to be able to adopt her.
I totally think you should celebrate her birthday as big as you want! She's been a part of your family for a year and you should celebrate that. And....she is yours completely. You ARE her Mama so go ahead and put that on her invitations!
She is so cute!
I have a question about your background. I use the same background service you do but I don't know how to move the box saying where you got the background off the title line of my blog. How did you get it to the very top left hand corner of the screen. Thanks for your help!
You ladies are great!
And Dooney...thank you! I want to adopt her too. And by law, the parents can have up to two years...and longer if they play their cards right. They can even come in and out and still have rights. But in baby girl's case, she is legally abandoned and they are moving for adoption...but mom can still come back and we have to start all over again. It does not sound fair...but it is just how things work!
But I am totally doing the party!! :)
I understand about the feeling that you need to hold back until the child is legally yours. Oli will be two in December. It's his first bday with us, and part of me would love to do a big bash. BUT ... we're waiting until his finalization (would should be in the spring). We'll do a big adoption party then. I can wait ... it'll be all the sweeter!
Jen you just can't feel guilty for loving her and giving her a wonderful year of her life. You are only responsible for you, and not the mama who didn't care enough to stay in this girl's life.
Praying for you, dear. I know it cannot be easy.
*hugs*
I know what you mean! Ugh. Such dilemma about the b-day invitation wording. I say, go with your heart. I say this because I strggled with wording when I put together Cassius' birth announcement. I went back and forth about how to sign it. We finally decided to go with what we wanted to say: "Proud Parents, our names" and then "Big Sister, Mariah." Eventhough she isn't legally our daughter/his sister, SHE SO IS our daugther/his sister NOW and IN OUR HEARTS! No one was bothered by it or questioned it, and it made her feel so proud.
Cutie pie IS your little cupcake. I pray that she will be yours legally soon. :)
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