One thing that always got on my nerves about my husband was when we would be in a "discussion" about something, and he would sit there. Not say a word. He would say he was thinking about what he wanted to say. It would drive me insane! I wanted a heated "discussion"...not a well thought out conversation!
But you know, he was right. It is way better to think before you speak. Or as I like to call it "biting my tongue". And I have been perfecting that technique for over a year now...on my kids! And they hate it just as much as I did with hubby! Which is kinda an added bonus! :)
I find my self telling them that I cannot speak to them about this situation right now. I need to calm down...or gather my thoughts. That I don't want to speak out of anger. And sometimes they get it. And sometimes they continue their shouting and I leave the room.
But the end result is much better. The issues are smaller. My feelings are not as hurt. I know what I want to say and how I want to say it...and both parties just get a chance to breath.
Picking your battles is never easy. I wish there were some sort of spinning wheel you can use, or something! Maybe with pretty colors and plays music! I would love that!
Jemmers :)
3 comments:
Great post! This is something I've been working on...oh, it can be hard to do sometimes!!!
How many children do you have right now?
I, too, worked on this and did quite well for a few years and then completely fell off the wagon (hehe). I guess this is a reminder/sign that maybe I should start distancing myself before I verbally let go. Glad you wrote about it.
You? You're my hero.
There have not been too many issues with Miss Stormy, but the driving-to-school business is driving me crazy! Although she is hoping to be placed with an aunt and an uncle before Thanksgiving. So that trial will end.
There are just so many things. And holding my tongue is almost always the very best way to help fix things. Because words said in anger are never helpful.
**hugs**
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