It is strange for me to say that I am a mother of a teenager. (Three total, including the two boys that are no longer here.) When stated, it is generally followed by a "I am so sorry" look, or a "I am here for you" pat on the arm. Which helps me to believe that most view them in the same light as I once did. Scary!
Children start out as such lovable creatures. Cuddly and cute. Then they begin to grow...into less cuddly and cute...but still creatures in their own right. They become teenagers. Independent, self absorbed, insensitive, mean emotional beings. Not to be confused with the 2 and 3 year olds. They can be very close in nature.
But why wouldn't they be? They are only trying to grow into the adult selves that they should be....as we are pushing to keep them the small child we think they should remain. They feel they are quiet capable of making decisions on their own. While we view this as just wanting to get their way. They no longer think the way we do...and they NEVER EVER agree with you in regards to anything. Because, of course, what do we know???
They have their own language that I am certain even they do not understand. They are trying to make a statement with every move they make in life. How they dress. What they eat. The friends they make. They want freedom, but with the same breath they crave boundaries and expectations. They want to be loved, and often find it in the wrong places.
But tell me, truthfully, how is that they are so hard to understand? Were we not teens at one point in our lives ourselves? As adults, do we become close minded and blocked off to the thinking's of adolescence? At what point did we become smarter, or begin to have all the answers?
As I sit here, a mother of a teen girl, trying to do my very best to parent her....I remember all of the mistakes I made. The blunders I created. The paths I went down that brought me to here. And all I can come up with is.....
.....Lead a child in the ways they should go, and when they are older they shall not depart from it.
And mom, boy was I a pain in the butt! I am sorry!!! Thank you for never giving up on me!!!
Jemmers :)
3 comments:
I too have apoligized to my mom for how I acted when I was younger. I don't think I knew how much she really did and meant to me till a few years after moving out. Now, I really appreciate everything she did for me and all the patience and love she showered on me.
You're so wise, dear friend.
I was about 28, and Mindy was living here when I realized my "childish ways" were behind me. I called my mom every day one week to apologize for this or that (some offence from when I was a teen) and she'd simply ask, "What did Mindy do this time?"
Moms are so amazing to put up with so much, and you have amazing patience and resolve to do your duty without going crazy on the teenagers. Bless your heart, dear one.
you are so insightful.
i dread the day that my daughter acts like i did. or the day my son acts like my brother did.
i hope i can handle it!
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