This is not something new to me. I have heard this about all of my children, a time or two. But this time, from a Doctor.
Little girl laid there, half naked on a cold examination table, screaming. She had just been taken by a nurse to be weighed and was not fond of the head measuring device they used...or that they used it at all. So there is her tiny 12 pound 2 ounce self, turning bright red. I imagine that she was getting a little agitated by my lack of response to her calls for help.
The doctor said, without taking her eyes off of little girl, "She is a spoiled one, isn't she?". She picked her up and gently held her in her arms as the screams continued to intensify.
"I wouldn't say that she was spoiled."
"Oh, she is." The doctor lays her back on the table and continues to examine her. Little girl continues to cry.
Is that some sort of diagnosis or something? Spoiled. Like it is a bad thing. Does a crying baby in a doctors office equate being spoiled??
As you can see, I am a bit irritated by these remarks...that I get all of the time. My children are not spoiled. They are loved. There is a difference. Just because baby girl prefers me over any other person, does not mean she is spoiled. Or the fact that Maya insists that I be the one to lay her down for bed instead of daddy....spoiled? There are many other examples...but the point remains......
What is spoiled??? Is it bad?? Are there many definitions other than the one I immediately come to when I hear that word?
I do take great offense to this...because it makes me feel as if I did something wrong. I am the primary caregiver of these children. It is not my fault that they go to me for things when needed. And I do try to share in the care of the girls. I even listened to my poor baby cry the other night while daddy was feeding her, and I was fixing Maya's hair. I knew she wanted me...but she was fine with daddy.
Ok..so what are your thoughts on this? Am I just a crazy, over emotional spoiler who needs to "get over it" (as my teen daughter always tells me)? Or is there some truth to my madness?? You decide!
Jemmers :)
6 comments:
That's horrible! I would say something to this doctor about how hurtful the comment was. I don't think any baby who is at a doctors office (presumably getting shots as well) that cries is spoiled! It's a scary place with a bunch of strangers and of COURSE they want their mama. That was an ignorant comment and I'm sure that doctor will run into some more "spoiled" children all day long who are crying for mama to hold them.
Because I had to do a lot of holding, coddling, babying of my toddler to foster a strong attachment I got a lot of raised eyebrows and stupid comments. I'm glad I weathered/ignore them and stuck to my gut instinct.
Still...it is always hard to get them from professionals. I would just have said "it is natural for her to be uncomfortable and cold and tired in a doctor's office...after all..she doesn't know you from a hole in the wall" or "i'm sure you'd be crying too if you were sitting cold and half naked in a stranger's office" - I'm not advocating rudeness but really...at some points these idiot doctors need to get a clue and maybe because I've had my fair share of them I no longer have any qualms about dishing it back!lol
Sorry you had to experience that...it is absolutely NORMAL for her to have reacted that way! The doctor is the one that acted abnormally!
Thank you!!!!
I was upset by the DOCTORS comments. But, oh well! I am doing the best I can!
I would say that my youngest son is spoiled...he is definitely a momma's boy. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. His primary care comes from me, so naturally he is very attached to me. Sometimes I wish he wasn't so clingy ("spoiled") so that his daddy could be more involved with him.
I think the doctor could have used a better word than "spoiled", but it sounds like she can tell when a child has a strong attachment to their parent. My oldest wasn't a momma's boy (unlike my youngest), so he was comfortable laying on the doctor's table as long as I was in sight. He was happy looking at all the new sights and with meeting the doctor.
My point is this, doctor's can just tell when a child has a stong attachment with their parent or when a child is comfortable with new people in different and new places. But, like I said, I think there is a better word than spoiled since we automatically think of something negative with that word. Maybe "parent-enriched" or "extremely-loved" would be better?! :-)
I was just blog hopping, stumbled across your blog and had to comment. My dad has 5 children and always said "my kids are only as spoiled as I want them to be. I just happen to want them to be very spoiled" And all 5 of us are good productive members of society.
I like how you put that Trin! "Extremely Loved"!!!
And not that being spoiled is bad...but most view it as such.
Heck...I AM spoiled...big time! And I am ok with that! :)
It is just hard to know what others mean by it when they say it!
Thanks for the imput!
Post a Comment