During one of our nightly talks, I mentioned to A how I wish I could just have one child that was mine...that would not ever be going home to their "real" parents one day. One that I could look at and see myself in. Just one.
I am sure it was mostly hormones. And probably had a lot to do with recent events. But A suggested that we being to try...again...for that just one.
I thought about it...for almost a minute and quickly told him no. That process takes more out of me than what I have to give. And I have put my heart and soul into what we are doing now. And even though these children are not "mine", they are.
I can see a little bit of myself in each one. I love them more than I could have ever imagined. And when they do leave, there will be more. And I want to do my best...for them.
So I may never have my just one.......I will have more than I can count.
I just hope my heart can take it!
Jemmers :)
4 comments:
Oh Jemmers. **big hugs**
That's exactly where I am right now. I want it, sure, but do I want to do what it takes to get it? Not at all.
I'm praying dearly for you and A. It's a tough decision to make. But God knows the desires of your heart.
I wonder why the answer is always "No" but someday it TRULY won't matter. Someday we'll be with Him in never-ending songs of praise and we just won't care if we didn't have a bio. child here on earth.
Maybe that sounded really cold. I just woke up. Anyway, you and A are so dear to even attempt what you're doing.
Hugs and Prayers for you!
Who knows babe, someday there might be a little one in your care that will eventually need adoptive parents! I personally am looking forward to seeing all that God has planned for your life!
I know God has great plans and a great calling for you and A. Enjoy this journey because you will have lots of wonderful stories to tell! God has gifted you with an enormous amount of love. Any kid who gets to come into your home for even a day is blessed to have you in their life, but I'm praying for a kid (or more!) to be able to have you as their forever mommy. :)
You all are sooo amazing!! Thank you for your kind words!!!
Adoption would be awesome! And I look forward to that day when I can be a forever mommy! (what a great term, Melissa!)
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