Minus the (s), of course!
This week has been challenging. Ok, that is a bit of an understatement. But we have made progress. We have moved forward....we may have taken a million steps back...but we are moving!
One of the biggest things I have been struggling with is when to be "friend" and when to be "mom". When to over look certain things and when to address them. This is sooo hard! Mostly because when I am "mom"....all I get is attitude. And it stinks....let me tell you!! Especially when "dad" can say the same thing....and receive little attitude!!!
But FS finally did it. He showed A exactly how he treats me when he is not around. The attitude, the cussing, the fit throwing....and A was not going to have none of it!
A and I agreed that FS could give out our home phone number to his friends at school, since summer is almost here and we want him to be able to stay in touch. Well, on Sunday, a new "girl friend" called. FS told A that is was a girl from school. So we thought nothing of it!
Last night I found out that this is a girl he met on line.....who lives in another state....who he gave our phone number to....without asking! When I confronted him about it, he became defensive and mean. He said that he never told us that it was a girl from his school...which is a total lie...cause he told A...and A confirmed! He kept interrupting me and would not let me talk. He started yelling and cussing and did his signature move...he left the room! Fine...leave...don't listen to what I have to say!
We find it best to deal with FS after he has deescalated a bit. So A was going to talk to him today about how he is not to give our personal information of any kind over the internet...and he was not to treat me the way he did. He was also not aloud to use the computer for the day.
On the way home from school, FS apologizes to me for last night. He did not want to talk about it...but wanted to let me know he was sorry. And...oh yeah, can I use the computer. Now...if I would have told him no, there would have been a HUGE fight. But when I told him that A said he was not to be on for the day....he accepted it with no complaint. WHAT IS THAT???!!!
So is this the same with all kids??? When mom gives the rules there is a problem. When dad does it, it is all cool! So.not.fair!!!!
But he has been showing me more respect...so that is a huge plus!! I have not heard how mean I am or how much he does not like me...for hours now!! But I am sure I will do something wrong soon enough!
Jemmers :)
6 comments:
Jemmers.
It's the same with Mindy. You just described a typical evening. Whenever I want Mindy to do something or when I want her to know she's pushing the limits, I talk with Rob privately about the matter, then HE talks to Mindy.
No attitude whatsoever when the "rules" come from Rob... but when it's me? Forget about it! She will sass talk me from here to Kingdom Come if Rob isn't in the house. Oh, and if I call her out on the sassing? She gets really sarcastic and makes big gestures and says how "sorry she is" for "getting an attitude" and completely makes fun of me.
I think FS is just normal. Sorry to let you in on that.
*wink*
Sounds like you guys are doing a great job with FS. I am SO not ready for my kids to be teenagers. Just 3 more years before my oldest reaches the teens! AAAAAHHHHH!!!
That is sooo totally normal! My kids are still really little and they already do it. My hubby left for the week last Sunday and my 5 year old IMMEDIATELY became smart mouthed, rude, and tried me on everything. It took me two days of coming down hard and fast on all his attitudes for him to get the message. I also notice that if Spencer backs me up, the kids respond to it so different. Sucks, but that is why God set up a family with a mom and a dad as the ideal situation.
Hang in there!!
Ok, I know I am early in this whole parenting thing and my kid is just now talking, so I probably have very little room to speak on this. BUT, when I have encountered other children over which I have authority, I have encountered similar reactions to my laying down the law. "I don't like you" is a favorite among kids of all ages. Ultimately what I say in return is something like this: "You don't have to like me, but you DO have to listen to me."
Easier than it sounds.
Yeah, like Katrina said, it's normal! I get the same thing and I love it when Scott backs me up and makes it clear that our kids will not disrespect me in any way. I love it - the kids hate it, but they obey him! If only I had a deep voice and big muscles! But I guess Scott wouldn't have married me if I did!
OK, I'm a dork. I meant to say "Harder than it sounds."
Post a Comment