Some questions have been asked by other bloggers regarding the situation with the possible adoption of Eva's sister, Elise. I do appreciate any and all insight that you may bring....but I wanted to make a few things clear!
Elise is Eva's full biological sibling. She is 5 months old and lives in Florida with her foster parents whom have had her since she was 8 days old. I do not question that they love her dearly. And it is not my goal to take her away from the only parents she has ever known. That idea breaks my heart. But I do want to do is what is best for both my daughter and her sister. I don't think any of the possible outcomes are going to be easy to deal with for anyone.
But here is the one thing I know for certain......I will do absolutely everything in my power to do what is right. And as of now, that means to prepare to fight for this little girl.
We are still waiting to hear the outcome of the next hearing. If TPR will be given. And if they move forward with our family as her adoptive home. We just wait....and pray that God moves in a way that makes things all things clear.
Jemmers :)
7 comments:
I just wanted to say that I am also a foster mother. I have been in the situation where I had a baby from 3 days old that was taken to live with a sibling. I have been in that mother's shoes.
However, I ALSO am in a situation where a little boy was placed with me and his full biological sister was in a great foster home. However, she was placed with us as well. She was taken out of a good home and put in our good home for the sole purpose of reuniting with her brother.
I questioned any harm it might bring her to leave such a great family and then have to re-adjust. She called her past foster mother "Mommy" and had a foster sister her exact same age. She was doing very well in their care. I was worried her having to move would cause her distress and even digression.
Let me tell you my concerns were WRONG.
There is an un-deniable attachment that siblings have. They are meant to be together. God created it that way. As long as the home is a home such as yours - THEY ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER.
When I see my foster children together, I see so many similarities in how they communicate, express themselves... They understand each other so much just because they are siblings.
In my opinion, anyone that does differently is selfish. The kids have to come first.
I am also barren and unable to have children. When they took the baby from us, it happened within one day with no warning. It was very hard. However, she is now with all her siblings and they are doing very well. I might not have a little baby in my home, but that is not the point of foster care. The point of foster care is to provide support and love and even if my attachment grows deep, I have to remember foster care is primarily temporary.
The foster mother of Elise may need time to process her disappointment and pain. But that doens't mean she should refuse what is best for Elise. What is she going to tell Elise someday when Elise finds out her mom witheld her from living with her full biological sister? It seems like fertile soil for daughter-mother resentment to me.
By the way, I am not always so opinionated when it comes to other peoples' lives - people I haven't met. However, knowing that I have experienced both sides to this situation, I wanted to chime in. :)
You are doing the right thing. No question about it. Foster care is not fair but in the midst of all the unfairness the bottom line is that the children must come first. You go girl. Fight!!!!
Dana!!!! Thank you for this!!!! Truly!!! You are now my new best friend! I knew this.....but I needed to hear it! This is about the sisters....NOT me!!! Honestly! But thank you for the courage to continue!
And thanks Kelly! I will fight!
Is the next hearing to for TPR or to change from RU to TPR? I hope that they are able to get TPR quickly.
I didn't mean to sound like I was attacking you by asking those questions, just things to ponder. I know that our case took 3 years to get to TPR because bios did minimum on their case plan so were given all opportunities. The system is really unfair to the children. Also, the SW was wrong is misleading the other foster parent. But, many times foster parents are not treated respectfully.
absolutely still praying!! Those two girls will be forever grateful for your fight! I pray God continues to give your strength and courage! Go Mamma!
I am so glad you were encouraged! I love reading your blog. And I think Life in Mazes said it well when she said your girls will be forever grateful that you fought for them. What child would not feel absolute love in knowing their mom and dad fought for them?!
You are doing the right thing. As foster/adoptive parents we have all lost and gained children. It's part of the process. God has a plan for Elise. I pray it is with her sister.
Post a Comment