Sometimes I wish that things came a bit easier for us. But then, maybe we wouldn't appreciate them as much. Or the event would be less amazing and more just "normal". And we so do not do normal around here.
Which brings me to my dear sweet baby Elise. And now, as I same her name, I can picture her darling little face!!! Seeing as I spoke directly with her County Worker in FL a few days, and she e-mailed me a few pictures!!! Being able to see her adorable face....and noticing how much she resembles her big sister.....brings an insane amount of joy to my soul!!!!
But the reason for the call was a bit heartbreaking. She wanted to make sure that everyone was on the same page. Great!!! I love being in the loop!!! But that was just it...I was somehow disconnected from the loop! And I did not even know it!!!
It seems that someone told the worker that we were not interested in adopting Elise!!! **Please note that Elise is not her given name. It is the name we gave her only a few days after we learned of her. You know, cause we did not want her!!! Ummmm....no!!!!!** And she wanted me to know that Elise will have a permanent home if her case goes adoption. She will then be adopted by her current foster parents! This is where I became completely confused and emotional!!!
Because WE DO WANT HER!!! We have never not wanted her!!! And they told the foster parents that Elise's sister's parents did not want her!! Easy fix, right? Well...maybe...if the Foster parents were not current IFer's and have been trying for a baby for 9 years. And if miss Elise was not their first and only child!! And if they were not completely and totally bonded to her! Yeah, then it would be ok!!!
They even made the suggestion that they keep Elise, and Eva come and visit her in the summer months. Which would be awesome seeing as they live in West Palm Beach.....but not so much since she needs to be with her sister!
Ok...so let's take the emotion out of this mess. There is still a chance that Elise will be returned to her bio parents and neither of us will get her! And if she does go to adoption, they are going to want her with family....and Eva G is her only family at that point. And to be honest...as foster parents, you are the temporary parents to this child. And as hard as it can be...you need to be open to what can happen. And enjoy the time you have with them! They cannot all be yours...I know that all too well!
But I am very grateful that since Elise needed a temporary mommy...she got an infertile one at that!!! So I know she is being loved...and by a mommy that is dying to love a child! My heart does break for her...knowing that she will loose her child soon, in whichever way. But I know that the Lord will take care of her...and bring her a child that needs her as their forever mommy!
But even after all of this, my heart is still at peace. I know that my daughter will be home soon. And I am eternally grateful to the foster parents that will love her even after that!
Please join me in praying for this couple!
Jemmers :)
**Oh, and they are starting our home study for the possible adoption of Elise! June cannot come fast enough!!!**
10 comments:
this is heart breaking. i wish miscommunication was not so rampant in this system. that is horrible for for that other couple and you guys too.
wow! what good possible news this could be :) I hope that your home study goes smoothy and QUICKLY so your Elise could possibly be yours!
June can't come fast enough!!!!
Why aren't you already homestudy approved, since you are foster parents? Just wondering? :)
I definitely feel for you. Miscommunication within the system seems to be the norm. It makes everything so much more difficult, especially when emotions are so high and there is so much at stake.
I'm so frustrated for you! To think that all of the confusion could have been avoided months ago if they had just touched base with you directly... And I can't help but feel heartbroken for Elise's foster parents. Being told that you will be able to adopt the child that you've loved as your own, only to be told "Oops. We messed up. You're gonna lose her." That's HORRIBLE! And it happens way too often in Foster/Adopt Land.
You're all in my thoughts and prayers...
does the baby have a GAL you could work with - each child usually has one assigned, or another though.. hiring your own lawyer. Very chancy to leave it up to the Dept for communication and timely filing of the correct paperwork.
Good luck
Lisa
What a sad situation for the other foster parents. I know this is heartbreaking for all involved. Prayers.
I second contacting either the baby's GAL or attorney or writing directly to the court. You need to be on record at the court, not just with Social Services. As a long term foster parent, you would be amazed at how the system can trade off "family" for "bonding" to get whatever result they want (assuming bio mom doens't work out). Unfortunately, placement with a sister is not guaranteed if someone can make a case it is not in the baby's best interest to remove her from a "stable placement". Out of state placement is time consuming and expensive. Don't trust; follow through.
I agree family doesn't a whole lot in the world of social services. Another thing to remember is even though you have touched base with the social worker that does not mean that the judge will ever hear that info. In the end it is the judge who will decide not the case worker. At this point getting a lawyer might not make any difference because you are not a party to the case. The gal might not even be able to share info for that reason. It looks like you will just have to wait and see. The longer the baby is with the foster family the strong their case will be. Praying that the best interest of Baby will be served
UGGH!!! How frustrating! I am so sorry. I will pray that thing will get straightened out. Mary, undoer of knots, pray for us!
Just some thoughts....
Are the girls full siblings or half? We adopted our two foster children who were full siblings but they seperated the other two half siblings.
How long will the child be with the foster parents? You need to do an interstate adoption and that takes time. The case hasn't had TPR yet has it? Our case lasted three years. Would you take a 1, 2or 3 year old child away from the only parents she has known?
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