Not that this is shocking or news to me...it just is what it is. *ROUGH* And I should not cap it by saying "foster mom"...."fostering" as a whole is pretty hard. And I am not so much talking about when the kids are here. After they leave seems to be just as tough. For me, anyways!
G-lo came to visit us the other night. I speak to him at least weekly, but have not seen him since March when he left. He was telling me of somethings he was doing or had done and the reason why he is back in this area. And I know I should not be shocked, but I was. It is almost as if everything that I did and tried to teach him accumulated to nothing. And that made me sad.
I saw FS (our first foster son) in August...and he has made some choices that are a bit mind boggling. He was visiting his mother, so that was great. And he asked to see me...but my heart was still very sad for him.
I am not totally sure, but somethings may have possibly happened to Maya. My sweet Maya. Bad things...and there is nothing I can do for her. I have not spoken to her in over a month. I just think about her being so young...and with such a small voice...I worry!
Miss Diva is now in her second home since she left us in August. She has so much anger and can not accept any responsibility for anything. So she just gets moved. And I want so much more for her. I often wonder if I should have just toughened it out and allowed her to stay...would it have made a difference? I don't know.
So even though my children leave me...they never leave my heart.
Jemmers
5 comments:
your story touched my heart today and helps me to know what we have on the road ahead of us. i cannot wait until little ones start tugging at my heart too. even though it is a rough road, you're doing an incredible job....
They take a little piece of your heart...everyone of them. It's how God made mommies.
We got a new placement last night, and I already dread the end of this one. The situation was pretty bad (but aren't they all) But it's one of those break your heart ones. He'll take a little piece with him too. I'm just blessed that I have something to give them, even if it is a piece of my heart.
Your amazing!
Sometimes the greatest joy can also cause the greatest pain. Fostering is definitely both of these things. These children will forever be changed because they have been loved. Know that you are making a difference, and keep up the great work! We have fostered over 40 in 5 years and it doesn't get any easier, but the kids make it worth while!
PS We will be praying for your family and cutie pie!
Your blog background is so cute!
I am praying for you and all the kiddos you've had in your heart and in your home. It is rough and you're a wonderful role model for me!
HUGS!
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