For the past week I have been reading up on "parenting a teenager"...and trying a little honing of my skills. I was reminded quite a few times that whatever that book was saying was not going to help me one bit...this coming from a teenager! One who, at the time, did not realize that I had been using a few of the techniques on her for some time. Not all of them work, mind you. And some of what they tell you is complete crap....but anything to make it seem as if I know a little more of what I am doing is ok with me. And it is earning me one hour credit toward my 60 hours needed by March 2009. Score!
But what this book did not seem to capture is what the typical response from a teenager may look like when using these techniques. Example one:
Teenager - I hate you! You are awful. It is always about you! *Meanness upon meanness upon meanness* You are so stupid!
Parent - I see that you are upset with my decision to not leave the house at this very moment. And I would love to speak with you in regards to this, but only if you are being respectful. If you continue to be rude you will need to leave the room. You decide.
Teenager - I will absolutely not leave the room...and I will be even more mean that I was! What are you going to do about that? You are so dumb.
Parent - If you continue to be rude, I will not be responding to you.
Teenager - It is always about what you want, isn't it! OMG! I hate you! You are retarded.
Parent - *No response*
Teenager - I hope cutie pie goes back to her mom or someone else...because you do not deserve to adopt her. You are a terrible mother. You don't deserve anyone.
Parent - *leaves room*
So, little parent book...I did not see that one as one of your examples! I know you said it would take time...but I don't know how much longer I can beat my head against the wall with out getting a super big headache!
Argh!!!!
Jemmers :)
3 comments:
I have found these sorts of things work with teenagers. Really.
Within limits.
They do...but it is not always easy! :)
hmmm, no words of wisdom. But, much admiration to you for contolling your temper. I don't think I would have had the self control to be as gracious. Sounds like the enemy is using her mouth to tell you lies and bring you down. It sounds like you are an awesome mom. Praying for you. (((hugs)))
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