This past...well...I guess the short version will do...month or so, has been crazy. It has been a while since I have felt this way. For lack of a prettier word, let's call it depressed!
I said it....I am totally depressed. Well, I was. I am starting to feel better. But for a while there I did not want to do a thing. I could not wake up. I did not want to talk to, or to see anyone. Cooking was out. Cleaning, although not a lot gets done anyways, was not happening. I looked a mess. DEPRESSED!
I never thought that I would go through this when I understand all that goes into fostering a child...which means not keeping them. But I was crushed. Heartbroken. Sad.
The day Maya left, she brought me close to her and as she hugged me tightly she whispered..."I am going to miss you, Mommy!" I don't know she even understood what she was saying...but I held her tightly and cried. I think I needed to hear that.
But I am thankful. Thankful for even getting the chance to know this little girl. Thankful for the opportunity to share my heart and my life with her. Thankful for the memories.
I am also eager to start all over again with another child. I must be crazy! :)
Jemmers :)
4 comments:
My heart breaks for you! It takes one heck of a strong person to foster children and then let them go. Just remember how special you are!
no, you are not crazy, you are just a foster parent. I so know of what you speak and yet we go back and do it again. I guess we know that love is not limited and we will have love to give the next child, and the next and the next. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt to love and let go. glad your depression is lifting.
Beth
I don't know how you do it. I don't think I could ever be strong enough to be a foster mom. You truly are an amazing woman, and clearly chosen to minister to these children who need to be loved and then let go. It really does take someone unique and special to be able to do this, and I pray that God's grace goes with you and A as you continue your journey as foster parents!
Thank you, Dooney!! You are pretty special yourself!
Thanks for stopping by, Beth! And it is good to know that I am not that crazy!!!! :)
Melissa...thank you for all of your prayers!!!
Hugs to you all!!!!
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