It might be time!!

I haven't written a "real" post in a while. Maybe, I will do that now.
I feel that my life resembles a roller coaster. It is full of ups and downs and dramatic turns and fearful, heart throbbing drop-offs. Some days start with me in "line" waiting for it all to begin. Well, most days. And some days I wish I could just skip this ride altogether. But that is not possible.

I love what I do. And I do not think having my own bio-children would be any easier. Parenting is HARD. It is gut wrenching-ly hard. And amazingly wonderful all at the same time.

I learn new things everyday. I am given challenges that I never thought I would face. I am able to connect with children that I never imagined possible. And most days I feel so unqualified. But I love it.

I did not start this thinking that it would replace my longing to have children of my own. And I hope no one ever thinks that. But it has filled a corner of my soul that was hungry for this....to be a mother. A mother to children that may already have a mother. A mother that they may need at this moment. A mother that may never see the product of their love and devotion to the child. A mother to many.

I still have those days where my heart aches for a child of my own. Where I feel broken and damaged. And I don't think I will ever fully understand why I must go through this. But I do trust that THIS is where I was meant to be.

Tears. Laughter. Confusion. Exhaustion. Delight. Joy. Pain.

I do love it!
Jemmers :)