One of the big....HUGE....things I have been struggling with lately is my selfishness. It is not really my fault! I blame everyone else! Wait...that is a whole other horrible trait altogether!
Anyways, back to being selfish......
I have mentioned a few times that I am used to it just being me and hubby. I could do anything and everything I wanted at the drop of a hat. If A wanted vanilla ice cream and I wanted chocolate...then guess what we got?? That is right...chocolate! If I wanted to watch Princess Bride for the 100th time..then that is what we did. If I wanted....ok...I think you get the picture. I am a horrible. selfish. girl!
Now it is no longer just A and I. It is now A, me and FS! And it is really great!! But remember the part about me being selfish?? Yeah, that apparently is REALLY hard to break! It is no longer "all about me". It is in all honesty...all about FS! Which I think he deserves. But is terribly hard to remember!
I am constantly having to step back and say to myself, "Ok princess....who is the child here?? Not you! So stop acting like it is you and let the actual kid....be a kid! And Fruity Pebbles will not kill him!"
This poor child has come from a place where he did not matter one bit. What he wanted was not important. His opinion was never asked. And here I am trying to take the freedom of being a kid away from him...because I want crispy crowns and he wants curly fries...and I don't like curly fries! I should be ashamed of myself! ASHAMED!!!
So this is my challenge! It may sound completely dumb...and I am sure it is....but it is my completely dumb thing that I need to work on!
As I sit here typing this, I just heard...."And it took a child to show you your ways!" Yes Lord, it did! And thank you!
Jemmers :)
6 comments:
Hmmmmmm...Fruity Pebbles!
:-)
Having our first kiddo was unbelievably hard for me simply because I had to stop thinking of myself first. It was embarrassingly difficult. But I did it...for the most part anyway ;).
You'll get there, that is why God gives us kids..to change and grow us as we grow them.
Don't forget you are an AWESOME mom now with the ultimate parent at your disposal (I meant God) my husband reading this over my shoulder thought I was referring to myself LOL!!!
With kids of any age you constantly have to think and rethink what's best or worth fussing over.
He will learn the most from your example and the fact that you recognize your weaknesses which in turn makes you try harder to be a better person is one of the best lessons he could be taught.
Amazing job, mom :)
You guys rock!!! I love reading all of your comments...the support is amazing!!! Thanks :)
It is such an adjustment going from two people in the home to three (because number three means a kid and kids need, need, need). I still struggle with selfishness and lately God has been dealing with me on being a servant. Just as Jesus served his disciples and washed their feet, I am to serve my children, even doing those less desireable duties I despise doing.
So don't be too hard on yourself. Every mom I've ever known has gone through this, the great thing is you are listening to God and obedient, AND you are thankful to Him for showing you where your heart is! That is a a very good thing!
Mindy likes cookies and cream ice cream and I like chocolate brownie nut ice cream.
Rob likes whatever I say he likes, for ice cream, movies, and dinner.
Mindy is the kid. I am the selfish Aunt. And you're right, I gotta work on this.
:-) You're so wise, Jemmer-doodles.
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